


Training to love yourself

by Grubbutts



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Collars, Dacryphilia, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 23:53:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15807114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grubbutts/pseuds/Grubbutts
Summary: Karkat's being wallowing around in self loathing again, and Dave decides to do something about it.





	Training to love yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [circumlocute](https://archiveofourown.org/users/circumlocute/gifts).



> Prompt: "Karkat’s self esteem is critically low, and Dave will not let this stand. The solution? Praise kink! Dave being sweet and gentle doesn’t mean it can’t be intense; hearing nice things about yourself when you’re as self-loathing as Karkat can be hard. Karkat definitely enjoys himself, but bondage and crying are absolutely on the table. Aftercare would be great too, but if you’re not up to writing all that just implying that it’s going to happen offscreen is a-ok!"
> 
> Goddamn it was hard to choose a prompt, this is so excellent and fun to write and you have great ideas circumlocute, bless u;;

How _the fuck_ is this the alpha timeline?

Karkat stews by himself in the common room sitting on the couch and gritting his teeth. There’s no definition to explain just how exponentially he fucked up, he’s the scorn of the humans universe, he got almost all his friends killed. He fucked up bad, really bad, really fucking bad and yet somehow by some sadistic eltrich gods decree, this is still the alpha timeline. He has to be such a major screw up to make sure that they win the game. Fucking great. So many dream bubbles of more successful versions of himself and his friends yet royally screwing the pooch is _the thing to do_?? 

He tugs on his hair and gnaws on his teeth, fist curling on his pants. He’s more than ass deep in his special little pit of self loathing, a horrid curdled thing of demons and dead friends, clawing at him and tearing him apart to expose all of his many flaws. What’s next for him? What else is he going to screw up? Oh gods, who else is he going to get killed? 

Dave has seen this stewing before, and it seems to just be getting worse. For the past few weeks, Karkat as become more irritable, more distracted, more withdrawn. It almost breaks Dave’s heart to see him like this, but not completely, because he has a plan for his panicked boyfriend-matesprit-whatever.

He sees Karkat getting into that same mindset again as they sit on the couch together, and he sighs. Alright, Karkat is in need for some TLC asap. So Dave gently takes Karkat’s hand and stands up, “C’mon Karks, let’s go chill somewhere else, alright?”

Karkat huffs and stands up too, “Yeah alright,” he says demurely. His shoulders are slumped and his grip on Dave’s hand is relatively weak, but it’s there. He doesn’t know what his matesprit sees in him, god what if Dave actually hates him too? Just stringing him along for the hell of it? Karkat just can’t handle- 

Karkat’s foot gets caught in the rug as they walk, causing him to trip and stumble for a few steps. He’s not exactly sure what comes over him, other than a red hot fiery rage more red than his candy red blood. “You bulge-sniffing son of a fuck loadgaper of tapestry! Useless piece of garbage that isn’t even worth my fucking feet, we should just toss you off this goddamn meteor!” He yells at the rug, stomping his foot down and glaring at it. 

Dave watches and jesus fucking christ he’s yelling at nothing, Karkat is literally yelling at nothing this is code red someone call 911 Karkat is flying so fucking far off the handle he’s back in his original universe with his crab dad eating bugs or whatever the fuck. He rolls his eyes and tugs on Karkat’s hand, taking control because clearly Karkat is having issues with that, “Let’s go Karks, we’re going to my room,” he states. Karkat follows along albeit reluctantly, still grumbling about to stupid fucking rug under his breath. 

They finally arrive at Dave’s room and he closes the door behind them, leading Karkat to his bed and sitting beside him, facing him. “Alright Karkat, listen to me.”

“What.” he growls out, not intentionally trying to be mean he’s just frustrated and pent up to hell and back. 

“I want you to breathe with me, can you do that?”

“Yeah I can fuckin breathe I don’t need your help with such a stupid easy task I’m not that helpless.”

“ _Karkat_ , it’s easy I know, but I just want you to follow me for a sec, okay? Breathe in through your nose for four seconds,” Dave says, scooting closer and placing a hand on Karkat’s knee, the other on Karkat’s chest and gently rubbing in circles as he breathes. “One, two, three, four. Now hold it for four-- one, two, three, four.”

Karkat does what he’s told, finding this whole stupid exercise completely dumb and pointless but he for some idiotic reason loves Dave to death so he does it anyway.

“Now breathe out your mouth for four seconds. One, two three, four.”

Karkat breathes out, ready to rant again but Dave quickly stops him with another breath. They breathe together, slowly, steady, timed. Nothing sudden, nothing changing, everything expected. Karkat finds himself beginning to relax, focusing on simply breathing with Dave, along with the nice hand on his chest. He even starts to lightly purr, rumbling against Dave’s hand. He knows Dave’s a fan of it, weird human is obsessed with the apparent “alien” noises he makes. 

Soon enough, Karkat isn’t so upset anymore, more tired than anything. Not sleepy tired, the other kind of tired where where all you can do is just breathe and withstand sitting and existing for a moment. Dave can see it, and it’s exactly where he wants Karkat to be. He leans forward and presses a soft quick kiss to Karkat’s cheek, “Good. Are you up for following more directions? I promise it’ll be worth it,” he speaks softly with the lilted intrigued of something insatiable, pressing another kiss to Karkat’s jaw, and then his neck. 

Karkat is rather amenable to more direction, just not wanting to think anymore about his own self hatred, about all of his mistakes, his frustration. He nods and shrugs, “Yeah fine,” he says, not exactly an eager beaver just yet but he trusts Dave, loves him to fucking pieces, he knows what he’s doing. 

Dave smiles and leans back, “Great. Gonna need you to strip for me, think you can do that?” he asks sweetly, commanding Karkat in a gentle lilting tone, continuing soft touches on his leg and his chest. Karkat cocks a brow through, it’s not exactly the turn he was really expecting but given his and Dave’s past experiences of nude fondlings it almost always leads to, well, happy endings. 

So Karkat slowly but surely does as he’s told, peeling off his sweater and getting off the bed for a moment to tug down his pants as well, letting his clothes drop to the floor. Next is his boxers which, regardless of how reassuring Dave is, he still feels a little self conscious when exposing such a sensitive area. But he does it, a little more slowly more from nervousness than actually trying to give Dave a show which he sort of accidentally does, and hooks his thumbs beneath the waistband to tug down his underwear to join with the pile of clothes. 

Karkat sits back on the bed next to Dave, beginning to curl in on himself slightly, holding his sides. But Dave immediately takes the opportunity to gently grasp Karkat’s wrists and pull them away, moving to calmly pet and sooth his nervous and neurotic matesprit. Seriously, this guy needs to take a break from all that hating himself, let a little love in. 

In comes the next phase of Dave’s plan, popping it out of his sylladex and onto his hands, presenting the soft leather collar to Karkat before clasping it around his neck. 

“What are you-?”

“Relax, Karkat, I know what I’m doing. It’s a human thing.”

“A human thing? More like a human pet thing, I’m not your fucking barkbeast this is demeaning!” 

“I need you to trust me and yeah, okay, collars are more of a dog thing but this isn’t the point of this. Humans do it when they get down with the sex stuff as a show of submission and shit, so basically it’s more establishing the fact that you’ll be submissive to me, okay?”

“It’s fucking weird,” Karkat grumbles, reaching under the collar to scratch at his skin. Dave takes his hand away and takes his shades off, tossing them onto Karkats clothes and bringing his gray hand up to his lips, looking at Karkat from under his lashes and pressing a soft kiss onto him. 

“Relax. If you really don’t wanna do it then we don’t have to, all I’m saying is that you’ve got a shit ton of rain clouds up in that brain of yours making you go crazy. Let me take the reins for a bit, I’m your boyfriend/matesprit, you know my hearts all thump thump thumpin away for you and I want that frown turned upside down. Do you trust me?” 

Karkat could honestly roll his eyes from the sheer stupidity of his matesprit, how the hell he fell in love with a dumb human like this he’ll never know. But he does love him, and he does trust him. And… the collar isn’t so bad, really. Kismesises are normally the ones who tend to go for that kinky shit like this with domination and submission and whatever the fuck have you, but Karkat has already bent a lot of his customs and rules for his dumb human so hell, what’s one more thing? “Fine, I trust you,” he relents, totally not flushing at how soft Dave’s lips are against his skin. Seriously, it’s like a larvae ass. 

Dave hums and his mouth quirks into a small smile, “Awesome. Get on all fours for me on the bed,” he says while putting Karkat’s hand down. While Karkat is doing that, Dave doesn’t stop touching him, letting his hands graze and drag all along the trolls body, exploring the differences in their anatomy that he’s exploring so many times before. It never gets boring, touching Karkat, so warm and surprisingly soft for a species with lots of chitinous coding. 

Once Karkat is positioned thusly, Dave climbs onto his knees behind him, letting the font of his pajama bared crotch just lightly graze Karkat’s ass so he knows where he is and what kind of position they’re in. Dave’s hands now roam along Karkat’s ass, up his back, up all the way to gently scratch at the nape of Karkat’s hair, and back down again. A soft clicking emanates from Karkat, and Dave isn’t sure that Karkat realizes he’s doing it. Good. It means he’s beginning to relax. 

“So tell me about your day,” he says, continuing his soft touches all along Karkat’s body. 

“My day?”

“Yup? Spill the beans, Karks, I wanna know what you’ve been up to.”

“Uh, alright I guess. Not much happening, like most days, had some grub loafs, talked to Rose and Vriska who shooed me away while they went back to planning whatever the fuck they have in store for us when he get there. Which I don’t blame them, my leadership skills have been less than sub-fucking-par and if I had a hand in things I’d-”

SLAP!

Dave’s hand tingles slightly from the spank he just dealt on Karkat’s ass, blood already rushing towards a hand shaped print there. 

“What the hell was that for!?”

“Just keep talkin’,” Dave says, smoothly rubbing along where he slapped and going back to feeling Karkat all over. 

“I- okay,” Karkat’s still a little disgruntled, brows furrowing not sure what to think with the mixed red and black signals he’s getting from Dave but for once, it sounds like Dave knows what he’s doing rather than pretending to know like the usual jackass he is. So whatever, guess he can trust his matesprit a little more. “So I fucked off to go watch some movies which, I have seen every single one we have so it’s not easy pickings because all I fucking do is watch movies. How shitty is that? What kind of useless wastechute of a-”

SLAP! 

Karkat whimpers this time, claws clutching onto the sheets and biting his lip. What is Dave doing? Why is he spanking him? It doesn’t seem hateful, and it’s not like it’s something they haven’t talked about before. Dave seems to sense his hesitation and leans down, pressing a kiss behind his neck, “We can stop at any point, it’s okay,” he soothes. He’s trying something new, but if it backfires he’s more than willing to change plans. 

Luckily he doesn’t have to worry about that, because Karkat gnaws his lip and shakes his head, his bulge already beginning to peak out from his sheath, “No, no it’s fine. Heh, probably deserve it anyway.”

SLAP! 

Karkat yelps out and bows his head, breathing deep and swallowing thickly. It doesn’t seem like he’s getting the message, so Dave eagerly helps him out. “Say something nice about yourself,” he says, softly rubbing the blooming red blush on Karkat’s ass. It must be stinging pretty bad. 

“Say something nice? There’s fucking nothing to say, there’s nothing-”

SLAP! 

Karkat falls onto his chest, raising his ass up in the air and burying his face in his arms. Oh. Now he gets it. He’s beginning to shake from the intensity of the spanking, Dave has one hell of an arm on him, but… it’s not entirely unpleasant. His gander bulbs are already heating up and getting glossy, his body reacting to the punishment. Instinct tell him to submit more, to present himself and beg for the mercy kisme-matesprit. But by now his bulge is fully out and writhing, twisting on itself and twirling. This is actually kind of hot. 

“Look, Dave, I don’t know what to tell you, I’m just… useless-”

SLAP! 

“Uggnn fuck!” Karkat moans, panting heavy and rolling his eyes. A tear slips down his cheek, red and warm. “I’m telling you Dave I got all my fucking friends killed-”

SLAP! 

“All I fuckin do is yell and throw tantrums and no one gives a shit-”

SLAP!

“I get everyone fucking killed and somehow this is the alpha timeline-”

SLAP!

More tears dribble down Karkat’s face, his chin quivers and trembles and broken sobs slip from his throat. But he doesn’t care, the ball is rolling and he’s so caught up in everything he just can’t stop. “I’d be better off thrown into the void-”

SLAP!  
SLAP!

Dave didn’t like that one, but Karkat’s so far gone he’s letting everything out. There’s no stopping this self-hate train. “Why the fuck is the universe so hell bent on me fucking up everything, because that’s all I do!”

SLAP!

Karkat sobs and sniffles, snot dripping from his nose and a pool of drool beginning to form on the pillows, “I’m cursed-”

SLAP!

“Everything I fucking touch gets fucked up-”

SLAP!

“I’m fucking _you_ up-”

SLAP!  
SLAP!  
SLAP!

Karkat shakes, his ass bright red and on fire, his face a garbled mess of tears and drool, sobbing uncontrollably. It’s hard to tell what exactly he’s even saying, but even still he can feel the catharsis flowing through him. “Dave…” he breathes out, “Why are you even with a fuck up like me?” he cries, because it’s a question he’s been asking himself for a while. All of this, tumbling and turning in his head with nowhere to go, nowhere to drain, just tumbling and building like a tornado. 

Dave can tell that Karkat’s all but broken in himself, suffering under a weight that he put on himself, and finally now he can let go. Spanking him was a little self indulgent though, and Dave can’t help himself to go one more time.

SLAP!

Then he gently moves away, stepping off the bed to take his clothes off before climbing back and helping Karkat onto his side. Dave pulls him close to his chest, petting a hand through his hair and kissing his tears away, “Karkat, you’re more wonderful than you know,” he says quietly. 

It’s a bit of a two way street, Karkat’s letting go in a way helps Dave to let go, to stop trying to be so damn cool and ironic. Just to be Dave, who loves his boyfriend so fucking much. “You’re smart,” he kisses Karkat’s cheek, “You’re passionate,” Karkat coughs up a sob, “You’re honest,” he kisses Karkat’s nose, “You’re the most amazing person I know,” He kisses Karkat’s lips, only for Karkat to wail and pull Dave close, crying into his chest and nuzzling against him. 

“Shhhh, you’re okay, let it go, I’ve got you Karks,” Dave says, rubbing his back. Karkat is pretty cute actually, all cuddled up like this, sobbing away and letting go. And it’s all because of Dave, because he matters to much. “You just relax, and let me take care of you, okay?” he coos, pulling back and wiping a few tears away. 

Karkat looks up at him, and granted Dave looks incredibly blurry but it’s nice to see his eyes. He nods, too tired to think for himself, his thought a little muddled but all he knows is he’s so fucking in love with Dave and he’s beyond lucky to snag a dumb human like this.

Dave smiles and pushes Karkat onto his back, kissing down his chest and belly while Karkat sniffles and begins reining his tears in. He watches Dave slowly make his way down, only realizing now that he too his naked, making his bulge twist and writhe a little more. Dave knows all of Karkat’s little buttons, the way he squeals when he sucks on his grubscars. The way he whines when Dave kisses and nips along his thighs. Karkat’s bulge always rubs against Dave’s face when he does that, trying to urge him closer to suck on him or eat him out. Luckily for Karkat, Dave has both in mind. 

Dave wastes no time wrapping his lips around Karkat’s bulge while a finger slips down along his nook, teasing the entrance. Karkat is still sniffling, a few tears still falling out but otherwise enjoying himself. Especially when Dave puts a finger in. “Fuck, Dave,” he moans. It’s probably his favorite phrase but Dave doesn’t mind, it’s always satisfying to hear Karkat’s voice tear at the seams. 

Soon enough a second finger is added, smoothing along the inside walls of Karkat’s nook all the while Dave’s sucking and licking his bulge, tasting that familiar “cherry red” taste of Karkat. “Fuck fuck Dave, fuck me please, fuck,” he whines. 

Dave pulls himself off of Karkat’s bulge and smirks up at him, “You want me to fuck you Karks?” 

“Yes, god, please.”

“Say something nice about yourself.”

“What?”

“You heard me, babe, say something nice or you ain’t getting fucked.”

Karkat gulps and looks around the room. “I uh, I’m good at… analyzing quadrants in movies?” 

“Good boy, very good,” Dave smirks again, pulling his fingers out and shuffling himself up. His cock tightly touching the edge of Karkat’s nook, who rolls his eyes at the lame praise but it makes his bulge twitch all the same. “Another one.” 

“I’m… not that bad looking?”

Dave laughs, pulling lube from his sylladex and popping the cap, “That’s an understatement but I’ll take it. You’re like the troll statue of David.” 

“Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to be the statue of David?” Karkat cracks a small smile, getting a little more comfortable and more relaxed. But Dave’s not done with him yet. He laughs back and pours lube on his hard cock, slicking it up before leaning over and kissing up Karkat’s neck. 

“You know I love you, right? Love your face, your body, that charming personality of yours,” he snickers, but it’s genuine. 

“Dave… Dave I love you to- oooh!!” 

Dave pushes himself into Karkat’s nook, groaning at the warm tight heat enveloping him. He takes Karkat’s hands and puts them together, pushing them up and pinning them above Karkat’s head. “Still wanna be fucked?” he asks, a smug grin stapled on his face as he’s fully sheathed inside of Karkat, his bright red bulge writhing and tying and untying itself.

“Yes pleas- FUCK!” 

Dave pulls himself out then slams into Karkat with a chuckle. “Sorry I didn’t catch that, can you say it again?” He teases. 

Karkat breathes hard and heavy, stretched out with his arms up above his head and full of Dave’s cock, his lonely bulge wanting for attention. “Please, please Dave I-FUCK! Please Dave I NEED-! Oh god!” Dave slams his hips against Karkat, hammering himself inside with a grunt and groan each time.

“Let it go Karkat, I got ya,” Dave huffs, his nose brushing against Karkat’s, lips grazing his skin. “I got ya babe, now let the whole meteor hear you,” he laughs and slams into him again. And again, over and over and over he pounds into Karkat’s nook. 

And Karkat lets go. He submits completely to Dave’s control, the collar weighing on his neck, the grip on his wrists, the throbbing cock inside him pummeling his nook so deliciously. He screams and moans, “Oh god! Dave! Fuck fuck fuck! Ah! Uhhn!” Reduced to vowels and nonsensical whines, screaming out to echo through the meteor, and through their chests. 

And Dave lets go too, fucking like an animal and growling into Karkat’s ear, letting go and taking his boyfriend completely. It doesn’t take very long for Karkat to lose himself, twitching and quivering all over and he cries out, his bulge spurting across their bodies as he cums harder than he ever has before. Dave’s not far behind, the squeezing and clenching around his cock, and just how fucking beautiful Karkat is when he cums, take him over the edge. He thrusts a few more times, grunting out groans and huffs and he too quivers and pumps his load inside of Karkat, thick ropes of cum covering his insides. 

For Karkat, it’s all a blur as Dave pulls himself out and cleans them up, too tired to put his arms down even though his wrists have been released. The next thing he knows, Dave is pulling Karkat close and peppering his face with kisses all over, “Hey, hey you with me?” he asks.

Karkat looks at Dave with half-lidded eyes and smiles a bit, “Yeah,” he croaks out. For all his yelling and ranting, a good fuck sure does take it out on his throat. 

Dave smirles and pulls back, “Good, good,” he runs his hand through Karkat’s hair, drawing out those precious purrs once again. His fingers comb through the nape of the wiry black hair and down his neck, brushing against the collar. “Should I take this off?”

Karkat blushes and actually looks away, pulling himself closer to Dave, “Actually uh, I… kinda like it,” he tentatively looks back at Dave, who returns and a smug yet soft smile. 

“Looks good on you,” he says, pulling Karkat in for a kiss. “How you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Good.”

“Uh, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Dave shakes his head and pulls the covers over them both, “Of course, babe. Get some sleep now,” he says, and they do.


End file.
